This is the time of year that the media tortures us with getting skinny, thin overkill and “feel good” miracles of people who triumphed some horribly impossible situation last year and makes us feel terrible about ourselves, feeling the need to make January 1, the moment to reprogram ourselves and change ourselves up. It’s just another part of the “conditioning” game. Wake up people! DO YOU HEAR ME IN THERE? Maybe not? You are probably busy reading about how Kim Kardashian is eating Ex-Lax in her smoothies and having her assistant schedule her Colonics in conjunction with her Juvederm injections.
So what happens with the conditioning? We all make these silly resolutions we usually cannot keep. I say no more. I am a realist, not a pessimist as some people may think I am but life is not a bunch of Unicorns pooping rainbows. I KEEP IT REAL. I’m not a Debbie Downer, I tell it like it is. If you don’t like it as Heather Mooney said in Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion, ” Fuck Off”. (Politely smiling at you as I say it, of course -I’m a lady.)
So this year I continue with what I started in October 2014- the big shed aka goodbye fat-ass (Sounds cruel right? IT IS – but it’s necessary in order for it to continue to happen, and I can stop hating myself every time I try to put on a pair of pants.). I also decided to continue with my current way of doing things and found that the current goals I have okay *at the moment, I can change that at any time – that’s why it’s not a resolution!
My Old Resolutions
- 50% less everything is 50% less me. It’s that simple. No diet. That doesn’t work, it’s bullshit, it all comes back and you feel like a crazy person.
- Continue with the activity. Do it on MY terms.
- Wear clothes that fit me. I’ve been getting rid of all my big stuff that hid my chunk and made me comfortable. I needed to move out of that comfort zone.
- Wear COLOR!
- Eat cleaner.
- Drink more tea.
- Be a “do-er” not a talker.
- Eliminate bullshit people who cause you agony in life from my life. Life is too precious and it’s too short.
- Speak more Spanish to my children.
- Read more.
- Stop being a doormat.
- Launch our apparel company.
- Get a job outside of my home. (After shoulder surgery.)
Now, tell me did you make any resolutions or did you stick to the same plan like me? Comment below and for crying out loud, subscribe already – it’s free!